A collection of random thoughts today.
The last of the foster kittens was left behind in the Reston Petsmart today to play with the other kittens and hopefully get adopted from there. She and Mia, my alpha cat, were not getting along. Lots of spats, including a few nasty ones. Also, Charley was starting to get very attached to me. This way, she'll be showcased all the time, get to play with some other kittens more her age, and hopefully all will be well. In the meantime, my two cats are happy to have me back full time.
My sister-in-law's father died on Friday. He was in relatively bad health, but I don't think he was expected to pass quite this soon. Of course, it's always a shock to the system when a parent dies. Even if you think you're ready for it, I don't think you really are. It means the last vestiges of childhood are gone. My sister-in-law is also the eldest, so I think that makes her the matriarch. A role she's actually well suited for, but perhaps would have preferred not be thrust upon her in such a way. Death, as we all know, is a fact of life and part of the cycle and all that. But hard on those left behind nonetheless.
Next weekend's activities will be starting to seriously get the house in order for possible sale now that the last of the fosters is out. Need to buy a new futon for the guest room bed. Put the window bench together that's been sitting in the box it came in since May (it was in the kitten room and so safer in the box than put together). Get rid of the kitten food in the spare room and possibly get a cover for the litter box that lives in that room. Clean the closet doors in that room - they got paint on them (okay, I got paint on them!) when I painted the room last winter and just haven't gotten around to getting it off of them. Then I need to paint the master bedroom again - it's showing its age and also the new windows need their frames painted anyway. I think I'll take down the big mirror that's on the wall behind the bed while I'm at it. Which will also then mean putting up a couple of pictures or something rather than leaving that wall blank for showing. Not sure how many of these tasks I'll get done next weekend, but it'll sure be nice not to go to an adoption event for the first time since June.
Time to feed the adult cats. Not to mention myself.
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Death and Men
I have been thinking about death and dying.
In part because I'm getting older. In part because my parents are getting older. In part because I have a few friends who are struggling with health issues - none fatal thank goodness. In part because I had a health scare myself not too long ago. All these things remind me that I do have some friends who have passed. Friends much too young to have died. And I miss them.
Two friends in particular come to mind. They died well. At least by my definition of dying well. But they died earlier than they should have (statistically) - and perhaps shouldn't have died at all. At least not when they did.
The first person I knew well and watched die (quite literally) was diagnosed with cancer that had metastasized from his throat. By the time he was diagnosed, the cancer had spread too far to be treated. The doctor gave him the option of trying a bunch of different treatments that probably wouldn't work and might be painful, or letting go. Fred chose to let go. He died in hospice, where they let you die with dignity.
My second friend was diagnosed with esophogeal cancer. Well, at least that was the doctor's best guess as to where the cancer started. By the time he was diagnosed, he was in stage 4. Which by definition means that the cancer had metastasized to at least two organs. Patrick moved to California to try treatment. But his liver was compromised, so he couldn't process the drugs. And ultimately, died at home peacefully 6 weeks after his original diagnosis.
My point, however, besides that they died as gracefully as possible, is that phrase "by the time". Neither Fred nor Patrick went to the doctor regularly. Fred had a growth on his neck for a while. He figured it was nothing. Or he got too busy to go to the doctor. Or maybe he didn't even have a regular doctor. The growth got to be the size of a walnut before he went to a doctor. By then, it was too late. Patrick thought he had the flu. He had apparently had stomach issues for a long time - just heartburn, he thought. He tried various diet changes, but it didn't really help. Then he started having a fever and feeling weak. So he went to the hospital. Where he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. And it was too late.
Benjamin Franklin said, "in this world, nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes." We are all going to die. Eventually. Nothing can stop that. But what is it about the male of our species that makes them less inclined to go for regular checkups. It's been pretty well documented that regular checkups can catch little problems before they become big problems. I would also bet that, like women do, if men had a regular doctor, with whom they were comfortable, they might be more inclined to go to the doctor when they felt out of kilter. Even if it just seemed like heartburn.
So men in my life - go to the doctor!
In part because I'm getting older. In part because my parents are getting older. In part because I have a few friends who are struggling with health issues - none fatal thank goodness. In part because I had a health scare myself not too long ago. All these things remind me that I do have some friends who have passed. Friends much too young to have died. And I miss them.
Two friends in particular come to mind. They died well. At least by my definition of dying well. But they died earlier than they should have (statistically) - and perhaps shouldn't have died at all. At least not when they did.
The first person I knew well and watched die (quite literally) was diagnosed with cancer that had metastasized from his throat. By the time he was diagnosed, the cancer had spread too far to be treated. The doctor gave him the option of trying a bunch of different treatments that probably wouldn't work and might be painful, or letting go. Fred chose to let go. He died in hospice, where they let you die with dignity.
My second friend was diagnosed with esophogeal cancer. Well, at least that was the doctor's best guess as to where the cancer started. By the time he was diagnosed, he was in stage 4. Which by definition means that the cancer had metastasized to at least two organs. Patrick moved to California to try treatment. But his liver was compromised, so he couldn't process the drugs. And ultimately, died at home peacefully 6 weeks after his original diagnosis.
My point, however, besides that they died as gracefully as possible, is that phrase "by the time". Neither Fred nor Patrick went to the doctor regularly. Fred had a growth on his neck for a while. He figured it was nothing. Or he got too busy to go to the doctor. Or maybe he didn't even have a regular doctor. The growth got to be the size of a walnut before he went to a doctor. By then, it was too late. Patrick thought he had the flu. He had apparently had stomach issues for a long time - just heartburn, he thought. He tried various diet changes, but it didn't really help. Then he started having a fever and feeling weak. So he went to the hospital. Where he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. And it was too late.
Benjamin Franklin said, "in this world, nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes." We are all going to die. Eventually. Nothing can stop that. But what is it about the male of our species that makes them less inclined to go for regular checkups. It's been pretty well documented that regular checkups can catch little problems before they become big problems. I would also bet that, like women do, if men had a regular doctor, with whom they were comfortable, they might be more inclined to go to the doctor when they felt out of kilter. Even if it just seemed like heartburn.
So men in my life - go to the doctor!
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