To Sleep, Perchance To Dream

Sleeping is one of my favorite things. But unfortunately, I don't do it very well.

Instead, I wake up several times a night. Approximately every couple of hours. It's not that I wake up fully. Usually, I just wake up enough to turn over, to rearrange the covers, to pet a cat, etc. It's not very often that I look at the clock or even open my eyes.

Just falling asleep can be a challenge. About a third of the time, as I'm trying to get to sleep, I can't get my brain to shut off. Sometimes it's because there's something on my mind that just won't go away. Sometimes it's just a thought or a phrase or even a word that gets stuck. They say that if you actually get up - instead of just opening your eyes - you can switch off the obsession and get to sleep. I've never been successful at getting that far. Usually, I get stuck in that halfway point between being awake and being asleep. And tossing and turning because of it.

I have found that Tylenol PM works to put me to sleep. Most of the time. But there are two problems with taking a pill to get sleep. Actually three. The first problem is that it requires thinking about it beforehand. Once I'm in the half-sleep stage, I can't usually make myself get up enough to actually take a pill. Even if I did get up that much, then I have to take out my retainers to take the pill. It's just one extra step that's somehow not worth it. The third problem is that, by the time I think of taking a pill or get to the point when it's worth opening my eyes and taking out my retainers because I'm really not sleeping, it's usually in the middle of the night. And by then, I am afraid taking a pill will keep me asleep past my alarm in the morning.

It doesn't help that I'm such a light sleeper. To give you a sense of how light a sleeper I am, I can hear my cats walk into the room. On the carpeted floor. All car noises. Car lights. People on the street. It's not good. And it certainly doesn't help with the staying-asleep thing.

But I am getting better as I get older. When I was in my 20s and 30s, I had a lot of nightmares once I did manage to fall asleep. So not only did I wake up several times a night, but sometimes when I woke up, it was because I woke myself up. But I don't have as many nightmares anymore. I think it's because I'm generally more content with my life.

So now the only good thing about waking up several times a night is that I remember my dreams. And it's good to dream.