Once Loves, Now Friends

There haven't been all that many men that I've loved in my life. My list is not long. Today I was reminded again of a love gone by, and it made me again take inventory. Many of my past loves are still present in my life. Some only marginally - friends on Facebook and not much else. Others play a more prominent role. Only a few have gone for good. And generally, I think that's a good thing.

Two of my exes read this blog. Had brunch with one of them today. An ex from the late '80s who spent most of the '90s and the '00s dating or married to a woman I also saw today (they've since divorced). The other ex might not consider himself an ex, but I do. He's certainly an ex-love. We haven't seen each other since the late '80s, but keep in touch with the occasional email. He's married with two little boys. Good for him.

My first boyfriend found me again after many years on Facebook and LinkedIn. In fact, many of my exes are friends on Facebook. At last count, five. Soon to be six if another one of them accepts my friend invitation. Most of them from my high school and college days. It's fun to catch up. And to keep in touch, if only through social networking.

Two past loves have died. My second boyfriend died in the '90s. Leukemia. Very sad. He's also somewhere else on the list because we got back together briefly during my college years. That's happened to me quite a bit over the years. I've dated almost everyone more than once. I guess it's a consequence of not cutting my old loves out of my life. Even came close to marrying a couple of them. Once loves, then friends, then loves again, and still friends.

My second college beau has also passed. Just a couple of years ago. It was him who actually started me thinking about this list. My mom told me about a letter my dad found that he had sent to my dad during our college years. They are saving it for me. I can't imagine why he wrote to my dad (many years later, they would work together and become friends quite outside of my relationship). It will be interesting to read the letter sometime soon. He's another one that I dated twice. I said it was a pattern. Came close to marrying him at one point, too. A significant ex. In fact, he was still in my life until he died. Letters. Calls. Even one vacation together as just friends. I still miss having him around.

You see? Not a very long list for 47. I'm sure I've forgotten someone. Maybe? If I have, hopefully he will still be my friend even if I forgot him here. After all, most of them are. And I think that's a good thing.