I know several people who operate on less than 7 hours of sleep. I am just not one of them.
My boss can fly back from the West Coast on a red eye, work in the office all day, go to an event in the evening, and be fine for all of it. Not me. I don't sleep on planes, so a red eye for me means maybe a nap of an hour or so somewhere along the line. But not real sleep. I've even tried taking Tylenol PM, which puts me to sleep at home most of the time. On a plane, not so much. But even if she does sleep on the plane, even if she's in business class, that's still less than 7 hours of sleep because the flight just isn't that long. And you can't just get on the plane and go to sleep. Nor can you sleep through landing. So best case, it's 5-1/2 hours of sleep. And I would be miserable.
Last night, the smoke alarm in my house decided that its batteries were dead. At midnight. So because I had already set my house alarm for the night, it started to beep at me. Scaring the bejesus out of me in the process. I wasn't asleep, but I was close. I had just turned out the light a few minutes earlier, having stayed up to watch the end of Top Chef and then read for a while before turning in. The alarm beeped. The cats jumped. Adrenaline kicked in.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Six beeps. That's the noise the alarm makes when it's unhappy. It's the same thing that happens if the power goes out.
If I were a good sleeper, perhaps I would sleep through those 6 beeps. Perhaps it wouldn't bother me that the alarm was unhappy. I would just acknowledge that there was an issue, roll over, and go back to sleep.
But that's not the way I operate. First, the beeping and the cats jumping made my adrenaline jump. Second, because I live alone, I am cautious about going downstairs late at night to investigate weird happenings. Was the alarm beeping because it was unhappy? Or was it because someone had jimmied a door or window and so hadn't quite triggered the alarm, but close? Did the beeping mean that the alarm wasn't working, i.e., wasn't protecting me? These are the thoughts that ran through my mind after I popped up in bed with the adrenaline running through my veins. Third, I am just not a good sleeper. Remember, I'm the person who can hear the cats run into the room on my carpeted floor when I'm asleep. Beeping all night. Not really going to work for me.
So I trundled downstairs and opened the face of the alarm box to try to decipher what was happening. Upon closing the face and hitting the System Status button, I heard the alarm voice say "Sensor 4 Smoke Failure". Does that mean there's smoke in my laundry room? Since I wasn't doing laundry, I couldn't imagine that would be true. However, that's the also the one ground floor window that isn't alarmed. I figure it would be a real challenge for anyone to get to that window since there's a huge rhododendron in the way - assuming anyone even saw the window behind the rhodie. But still, I get nervous about that room.
What to do? Go downstairs? After midnight. Somehow that always freaks me out, even though a half hour ago I was down there watching TV. It's not logical, but it's the way my brain works.
So I think "failure", perhaps the batteries need to be replaced. Luckily, being the anal retentive child that I am, I have the appropriate batteries in my freezer. I grab them, go into the laundry room, climb on top of the dryer to get to the smoke alarm, and start to disconnect it. When the phone rings. Adrenaline again! Just when it had sort of started to settle down. Yikes!
"Ma'am, sorry to call so late but we're getting an alarm signal from your house." Well, duh! Of course, it didn't help that I hadn't put in my code to turn the alarm off. Duh! He says they'll put that sensor in test mode so I can change the batteries without the alarm sounding. And then gives me a number to call if I have any questions.
I'm a pretty smart person. I am normally pretty good with mechanics and smoke detectors are pretty simple objects. I took it down, replaced the batteries, and then I could NOT get it back up. I lined up the hooks, twisted, and they just wouldn't hold. I'm standing on the dryer. I'm in my nightgown. It's 12:30 am. I'm tired. My eyes are tired. My head is cocked to the side because I'm taller than the ceiling is high when standing on the dryer. And I can't get the stupid thing back together. I want to cry. I want to yell. I want someone else to make it all better. But there's just me. So I try again. And again. And again. And yell at myself for not paying closer attention when I took it down. Is there a trick I've forgotten since the last time I replaced the batteries? Oh, the frustration!
Finally, it occurs to me that the new batteries are sticking up past the surface of the cover. Hmm....Could that be the problem? I turn the one battery sideways in the hole. Now the batteries are flat in their holes. I put the cover against the hooks. I twist. It holds. Eureka!
All is well, right? Not so much. I go upstairs. Test the System Status again. "Sensor 4 Smoke Failure." What? All that effort (okay, it shouldn't have been THAT hard) and it's still not working? I want to cry again.
I call ADT. Thank goodness the guy had given me the number so I didn't have to look it up. The CSR walks through the reset procedures with me. Still getting the alarm failure. We try a different procedure. Still getting the alarm failure. "Is there anything I can do to just set the window and door alarm, and not this alarm, and get some sleep?" "Sure, ma'am. Do this." So I do. And the alarm is set. And it doesn't beep 6 times at me.
It's now 1 am. Adrenaline is still racing through my veins. So I read for a little while again. 1:30 am, I turn off the lights again. Will I be able to sleep? I'm so tired. Yes, my body says. But only for 4 hours until the alarm - the clock one - goes off again.
Sleep. Elusive. Tired.
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